


Letting Go

by mckovich



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, mickey's pov in second person, post 5x12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 18:45:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4190901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mckovich/pseuds/mckovich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're terrified of getting hurt again, but at the end of the day, You're still thinking about the person who left you completely broken. You don't want to miss him anymore, you don't want to love him anymore, but you know you always will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is, I just thought of writing this. It's really bad but I hope you like it !!

It's been a few months of the feeling of loneliness and emptiness and heartbreak. It's been so long since the last time you saw his face or heard his voice. You almost forget what he sounds like or what he looks like. Almost. But you could still clearly hear his voice that still does things to you that you know that voice shouldn't because it's been a long time. You can even still feel him around you. His hands all over your body, feeling like fire. It's like even though he's gone, his presence lingers around you and yo can't get rid of him even if you don't want to. Ever since your breakup with him, you poison yourself with alcohol and damage your lungs cigarette smoke, trying to get high to forget home him and the pain. But no matter how hard you try to forget he's always on your mind. You think about him everyday. You tell yourself that you don't miss him, that he's better off without you because you're fucked up for life anyways. But god you miss him so much and you know you shouldn't. You shouldn't care. But you miss his smile even though you wont admit it. His smile can light up a whole city. You miss the way he looks at you like you gave him the sun and the moon. You tell yourself that maybe it's a good thing he ended things between you and that you'll probably never talk to each other again. Because your relationship was always toxic and you know that wasn't good for him. That you weren't good for him. You where only dragging him down. But no matter how much time has passed, it never really goes away. You may think you're getting better but sometimes in the middle of the day, you get a flashback, a memory of you two together. A memory of when things were simple and all you had to worry about was keeping your relationship a secret. You get a memory of that summer when you and him were at the dugout. It was hot as balls out and you remember him telling you about his dreams to go to West Point and all the summer classes to get there. You remember the determination in his when he told you that he wanted to become and officer and you thought that was ridiculous. You remember saying "You want to be an officer huh, don't officers get shot first?" You remember that night so vividly because that was one of those nights where you felt free and carless because it was just the two of you. You remember his hands and mouth all over you and you remember how it felt like is skin was burning your skin and you never wanted to let go. And it hits you all over again, all at once, like a stab in the chest and you fall apart all over again. And you feel like you just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. You still love him, even though you shouldn't. He hurt you worse than you ever been hurt. He stole your happiness. But you still want him. Only him. It upsets you of the thought of moving on, because you promised you never would. You're terrified of getting hurt again, but at the end of the day, You're still thinking about the person who left you completely broken. You don't want to miss him anymore, you don't want to love him anymore, but you know you always will. 


End file.
